Jia Yin aka Renee
Taurus
Singapore

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Eri-chaan
Melvin
Rika/Xuanbing
cheng boon/darlin~
Kasumi-chan
Kai/Kiat keng
Eleanor
Yuuka！！！
Amanda
Blank,

Tag board code here. :)

Im not okay

Tuesday, June 30, 2009 at 6/30/2009 05:17:00 PM

Monday Bluessss~

Monday, June 29, 2009 at 6/29/2009 08:00:00 PM

Hi people!!! To those who read my blog, thanks for your support. Cause i just found that... Or a better word, Ive woke up from the sluggish blurry world ive been in for the past.. 6 months. Started since the last long holiday. The long and rotting days of doing totally nothing but eat sleep and rot.

School have once again start and im already up to my neck with projects. And thats only for 3 modules. What about mt bio chem, my PPE and my Plant maintanence? I don't know what put me into such a state of depression and self loath, low self esteem and such hate for the world and the humans on it, that i lost the smile Mandie mentioned.

(Might be due to all the stress the projects, the amount of information needed to be crammed in everyday, the test and the relationships problems. Most of all the power struggle fights in class.
In which I lost myself bit by bit, and slowly empty myself in heart and brain, going on an auto mode of self destruction. No smile, i lost hope. No passion for my course and knowledge. The sparkle in my eyes whnever i look into the mirrior. The energy i i practically poured out every morning in the first sem. The time where i would smile at all the sunshine i could spend in the sun, spurred by my love for nature and space. The wide open space. The countless hours working harder, learning and practicing spurred by the desire to know more and just because the subject itself is interesting. No... eye bags formed, i talked behind people. I fight with them, argue with my family members. power humgry. No smile. No laughter. Depression, no confidence and then comes the emptiness. A walking zombie that no info goes in, rubbish came out. An empty husk call a human.)

Im Sick of this behaviour.

Only after looking at the photos i took at the camp, the midnight-lose-my-head pic and the ones compared to when i took during the first year and sem...

I lost the bright cheery and happy-go-lucky infectious smile. I was quite known to smile a lot during secondary school days. Yes i know, people change, due to stress, work and the environment, not to mention Relationships are a total stress inducing factor. Totally. A 360 degree change is Possible.

I lost the motivation, the passion and the love for my work, friends,family and knowledge. Im a book worm. On msn, Azmi asked me.. 'What are you doing now?'
I replied.. ' reading'.

Yes, Im a bookworm and proud of it. But for the past 1 year and a half, Im ashamed. I had not touched more than 10 books in a year. When compared to my glorious days of the secondary school life, when we compete between our bookworm gang who have the fastest reading speed. Ah the highest record, Cheng boon, Eleanor, Michelle and me. All four of us read harry potter and the order of the pheonix in one day. Ahhh Sec 3... A book a day is normal. 3 books a day is no life.

Anyway, back to the topic. I may want to be a boy, i may want to stay 16 . But a fact is a fact. Sweet 16 are days gone by, and exciting 18.. ...is hell. Being 18 in Singapore, not fun not happy and not healthy. Its stressful, its tiring and most of all, BORING. Im a 2 months 18 yr old baby. And i found myself being older than my age. Brain overload, work overload, and health overload.

I read the recent friday 26 june my paper news. the writer was writing bout bagpacking in Munich. Where booze and the nightlife are sooo MUCH BETTER compared to S'pore. As in people just laugh, chat and drink beer with friends and laugh together. No need for polite and restrained conversations. Free. Relaxed and fun. The whole atmosphere was good. With musicians coming out to play their own music and to get people to buy thier own self made albums. People are friendly.
Next, was an article on a tour in Australia. The slower pace of Australia where time seems to stop and people spend time looking at sharks in an aquarium and sip coffee at the nearby cafe.the autor wrote that in casino, the people are gambling like playing chess. Slow and steady. All nice and gentleman manners when they win or lose. No losing of temper. But the autor also mentioned, that like all new things alike, the freshness is gone after 3 days. And 3 days of idylling doing nothing and just purely relaxing can take its toll too. An idle mind is the devil's playground. So Sad to say, my sad and overworked mind, body and soul. I'm certain Im not able to stay and live in such a slow pace after what acustomed to the way i live in S'pore.


And another article... Funny why suddenly I took up a newspaper in 3 week. And I found so many interesting articles. Well.. this is one about driving in s'pore. He says, driving in s'pore, one will need to have some courage and Kiasu-ness. or.. You can never make it out into the streets alive. Poeple in s'pore uses the car horns to show their anger and fustrations of drivers cutting into their lane and being too slow. etc etc... While in Cambodia and european countries, driving is a hobby, a leisure sport. People are much much polite than those in s'pore and willing to forgive and forget.

Well seeing the above mentioned. I can conclude that singaporean are much too self conscious. Too self absorbed and self centered. All over focus on work and achievements and money. though yes without all these you can't survive, but this world. Especially Singapore. We all need a lil fun, a time to relax and a smile for friends and family. A smile, thats consist of polite, manners and yet contain the basis of fun sunshine and love.

I need to find that smile. My friends, I love ya all. :) thanks for being here all the while. You know who you are, and i hope you all still remember the promises we made.

Ara ara... This actually took me 2 hrs to write, re edit and repost. On a nice lovely cool evening, where silence is golden and creativity is sparked. I let my locked up feeling flowed a little, and i love everybit about it. Well now, it not everyday u get me to write such a long and deep piece of work. Its a piece of work. :D

Hmmm picturesssss

Sunday, June 28, 2009 at 6/28/2009 03:32:00 PM

This is EPIC!!! Look! Don't they look like they came out of a drama that another couple will soon fly in and take their place beside the black shirt weiling and then the title will come in.. TADA!!! Definitely a drama.

Hort camp?

Friday, June 19, 2009 at 6/19/2009 11:21:00 PM

His Butt


My class!! my Lovable yet so Hateful Class!



the yr 1 sssssss Like they own the world

Thats Rowenna and Wilson~





bunny Yuting








Yay! Finally i capture Jeb jeb to take a pic with meee!though sadly.. a blurred~

My cousin wedding?

Sunday, June 14, 2009 at 6/14/2009 09:50:00 PM

Here comes the bride... and her LAdyguards!



Acting as spies??!! O.O




haha! they are having a romantic time of their own in this lil corner arent they? Gotcha!

Tell me Tell me

Wednesday, June 10, 2009 at 6/10/2009 11:40:00 PM

Providers take it upon themselves to insure the health and welfare of those in their care, but they are also the most sociable of all the Guardians, and thus are the great nurturers of social institutions such as schools, churches, social clubs, and civic groups.

Providers are very likely more than ten percent of the population, and this is fortunate for the rest of us, because friendly social service is a key to their nature. Wherever they go, Providers happily give their time and energy to make sure that the needs of others are met, and that social functions are a success.

Highly cooperative themselves, Providers are skilled in maintaining teamwork among their helpers, and are also tireless in their attention to the details of furnishing goods and services. They make excellent chairpersons in charge of dances, banquets, class reunions, charity fund-raisers, and the like. They are without peer as masters of ceremonies, able to speak publicly with ease and confidence. And they are outstanding hosts or hostesses, knowing everyone by name, and seemingly aware of what everyone's been doing. Providers love to entertain, and are always concerned about the needs of their guests, wanting to make sure that all are involved and provided for.


Friendly, outgoing, neighborly - in a word, Providers are gregarious, so much so that they can become restless when isolated from people. They love to talk with others, and will often strike up a conversation with strangers and chat pleasantly about any topic that comes to mind. Friendships matter a great deal to Providers, and their conversations with friends often touch on good times from years past. Family traditions are also sacred to them, and they carefully observe birthdays and anniversaries. In addition, Providers show a delightful fascination with news of their friends and neighbors. If we wish to know what's been going on in the local community, school, or church, they're happy to fill us in on all the details.


Providers are extremely sensitive to the feelings of others, which makes them perhaps the most sympathetic of all the types, but which also leaves them somewhat self-conscious, that is, highly sensitive to what others think of them. Loving and affectionate themselves, they need to be loved in return. In fact, Providers can be crushed by personal criticism, and are happiest when given ample appreciation both for themselves personally and for the tireless service they give to others.



Profile: ESFJRevision: 3.0Date of Revision: 23 Feb 2005
Guardians of birthdays, holidays and celebrations, ESFJs are generous entertainers. They enjoy and joyfully observe traditions and are liberal in giving, especially where custom prescribes.
All else being equal, ESFJs enjoy being in charge. They see problems clearly and delegate easily, work hard and play with zest. ESFJs, as do most SJs, bear strong allegiance to rights of seniority. They willingly provide service (which embodies life's meaning) and expect the same from others.
ESFJs are easily wounded. And when wounded, their emotions will not be contained. They by nature "wear their hearts on their sleeves," often exuding warmth and bonhomie, but not infrequently boiling over with the vexation of their souls. Some ESFJs channel these vibrant emotions into moving dramatic performances on stage and screen.
Strong, contradictory forces consume the ESFJ. Their sense of right and wrong wrestles with an overwhelming rescuing, 'mothering' drive. This sometimes results in swift, immediate action taken upon a transgressor, followed by stern reprimand; ultimately, however, the prodigal is wrested from the gallows of their folly, just as the noose tightens and all hope is lost, by the very executioner!

An ESFJ at odds with self is a remarkable sight. When a decision must be made, especially one involving the risk of conflict (abhorrent to ESFJs), there ensues an in-house wrestling match between the aforementioned black-and-white Values and the Nemesis of Discord. The contender pits self against self, once firmly deciding with the Right, then switching to Prudence to forestall hostilities, countered by unswerving Values, ad exhaustium, winner take all.
As caretakers, ESFJs sense danger all around--germs within, the elements without, unscrupulous malefactors, insidious character flaws. The world is a dangerous place, not to be trusted. Not that the ESFJ is paranoid; 'hyper-vigilant' would be more precise. And thus they serve excellently as protectors, outstanding in fields such as medical care and elementary education.


Functional Analysis:
Extraverted Feeling
ESFJs live in their Extraverted Feeling functioning. Feeling, a rational (i.e., deciding) function, expresses opinions easily in the E world of objects and people. ESFJs have the ability to express warmth, rage, and a range of other emotions. Actions are encouraged or rebuked based on how they affect other people, especially people near and dear to the ESFJ. This type's vocal decisiveness predisposes many of its number to facility with administration and supervision.


Introverted Sensing
The secondary Sensing function aids and abets the dominant Fe in that sensate data is collected and at once compared with the inner forms or standards. Data on which decisions are made are thus focused and given a contrast which tends to be stronger and clearer than the original stimuli. The strengthening effect of Si on Fe may be responsible for this type's reputation for wearing their "hearts on their sleeves." At any rate, ESFJs reflect the "black and white" view of reality which is common to the SJ types.


Extraverted iNtuition
Intuition is tertiary--as the ESFJ matures, and as situations arise which call for suspension of criticism, Ne is allowed to play. Under the leadership of the Fe function, iNtuition allows for a loosening of the more rigid Si rights and wrongs; teasing and slapstick humor emerge. ESFJs are also capable of discerning patterns and philosophies, but such perceiving is subject to the weakness of the tertiary position, and the results often lack the variety and complexity of connections that more complex systems require.


Introverted Thinking
The inferior Ti function may rarely be expressed. In fact, ESFJs may take affront at the aloof, detached nature of dominant Ti types, or conversely, be drawn to them. Some ESFJs construct rationale which have the appearance of (Jungian) Thinking logic, but under scrutiny are in fact command performances of "Thinking in the service of Feeling," (i.e., Thinking-like conclusions which do not obey the tenets of impersonal logic; they rather construct scenarios from only those "hard, cold facts" which support the conclusion reached by the dominant Extraverted Feeling function. To wit:
You don't sew with a fork, so I see no reason to eatwith knitting needles.-- Miss Piggy, on eating Chinese Food

Finally I blogged

at 6/10/2009 10:49:00 PM

Finally! I managed to find smth to blog! I finished all my 3 papers.. Im feeling kinda relived.. but... i KNOW im gonna FAIL one of them.. Gosh 20%.. well it just couldnt goes in la. I will do better for the next paper! I Will!!. Well i did a funny test.. Hmm... Seems like me... but i arent so sure bout the restrained Qualities though.. skip that if u will :D Do give me feedbacks!


ren's Existing Situation
"Organized and detail-oriented, she has a very precise and methodical manner. she needs relationships which offer her understanding, respect, and approval."

ren's Stress Sources
"Unfulfilled hopes have left her feeling uncertain and even a little fearful about the future. Needs to feel secure and avoid further disappointment; fears she will be looked over, lose her position, or lose respect. Has little hope that things will get better in time and her negative attitude leads her to place impossible demands on others or to compromise or bargain."

ren's Restrained Characteristics

"Self-centered, tends to take this personally and is easily offended."

Is satisfied and finds contentment through sexual activity.

{This is totally irrerelevant, dun mind this}


ren's Desired Objective
Has too much built-up excitement which is ready to break free in an impulsive and irrational outburst.

ren's Actual Problem
"Is disappointed and let down, feels there is no point in making new goals as they will leave her feeling the same way. Is unable to admit to her short comings, which leads her to act out in an aggressive and resentful way."

Changing

Friday, June 5, 2009 at 6/05/2009 09:19:00 PM